1-1-9-Servanthood

1-1-9-Servanthood

(Mat. 20: 26-28)
"Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant and whoever wants to be first must be your slave - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Jesus described leadership from a new perspective instead of using people, we are to serve them.  Jesus mission was to serve others and to give his life away.  A real leader has a servant's heart.  Servant leaders appreciate others worth and realize that they're not above any job.  If you see something that needs to be done, don't wait to be asked.  Take the initiative and do it like a faithful servant.

How did Jesus model this new way?

How will you model this new way?

(Luke 22:26-27)
"But you are not to be like that.  Instead the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.  For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves?  Is it not the one who is at the table?  But I am among you as one who serves."

The worlds system of leadership is very different from leadership in God's Kingdom.  Worldly leaders are often selfish and arrogant as they claw their way to the top.  But among Christians the leader is the one who serves best.  There are different styles of leadership - some lead through public speaking, some through administering, some through relationship - but every Christian leader needs a servant heart.  Ask the people you lead how you can serve them better.

What would it mean to apply Jesus' words about service in your family life?  Work or school relationships?  Political views?  Use of money?  What makes it hard for you to apply this principle in those areas?  What motive is there for you to do so?

Lead-In

One of the great confessions that the early church made about Jesus Christ was that he was a servant.  Jesus said of himself, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45).  Jesus demonstrated the freedom with which he served in John 13.  There we read the beautiful words:

"Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist.  After that, he poured water into a basin, and began to wash his disciples feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him" (John 13:3-5).

Jesus, knowing who he was - the Lord, creator and upholder of all creation is, and will be - served.  Similarly, knowing who we are in God - perfectly free, lord of all, subject to none" - we are freed to serve.

However, sometimes our service can be the result of guilt, fear and a half-hearted sense of obligation.  This is servitude, not servanthood.  It is more harmful than helpful, both to ourselves and others.

In this lesson we will explore the choice between servanthood - real service that flows from a freedom and love - and servitude, which is not real service, but behavior resulting from bondage to guilt and fear.

Servanthood vs. Servitude

Martin Luther wrote. "A Christian is a perfectly free lord of all, subject to none.  A Christian is a perfectly dutiful servant of all, subject to all."

You are called to freedom as a Christian - to freedom from the coercive obligation to serve and from irresponsible apathy, but more importantly, to the freedom to serve.

Few aspects of Christianity are more subject to misgivings and misunderstanding than the call to servanthood.  Guilt, anger, and miscommunication are often associated with it - all traceable to a basic confusion of servanthood with servitude.  Servitude connotes bondage, slavery, and involuntary labor.  Servanthood, on the other hand, incorporates the ideas of willingness, choice, and voluntary commitment.

There is a world of difference between servanthood and servitude.  At best, the person snared by servitude acts out of a sense of duty and fear, but the person living in servanthood acts out of a sense of commitment and love.  Servanthood is healthy and uplifting, although involving challenges, pains, and problems.  Servitude is, by definition, unhealthy and demeaning for all concerneed.  The net result is that servitude creates more difficulties than no service at all - both for the server and the one being served.

Christians sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between servanthood and servitude.  As a result, we can feel enslaved to our calling rather than freed by it.  Under these circumstances training becomes an act of servitude.

Fantastic possibilities open up for us as Christians when we understand servanthood.  If being a Christian servant is not easy - and it isn't - it can, nonetheless, be gratifying.  With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can make the most of our servanthood, bearing in mind that we allow God to guide us.  Without God's direction, we are headed for trouble.

Servitude Pitfall #1: Overidentification

When people experience problems in life, it is as though they are stuck in the mud.  When you, a trainer relate to someone in such a plight, you can be tempted to jump into the mud in order to assist him or her out of the mudhole.

If you do this, you are overidentifying with the other person.  That is, you reach a level of emotional entanglement at which the other's pains, problems, and emotional burdens become your own.  It is true that you achieve emotional solidarity with the other, but look at what you lose.  By jumping into the mudhole and becoming totally submerged in the other's problems, you forfeit the objectivity necessary to get the other person out (not to mention getting out yourself).

The result is that no one benefits.  The other person is still in need of training, and now you need help as well.  Misery does indeed love company,  but misery needs more than company in order to be helped.

The Servanthood Approach: Empathy

Walking in the freedom of servanthood, a Christian responds to the other's plight wit empathy.  Empathy involves experiencing another's problems as if they were your own, without losing the "as-if-ness" aspect.  It entails jumping into the mud-hole with the other, but at the same time firmly grasping a tree root.  That is, you retain your sense of objectivity.

When you empathize, the other person senses that you share his or her problems, but you have the all-important objectivity that enables you to communicate, "Let's get out of this together."  With empathy you firmly grasp the other person's hand and train him or her through the quagmire back onto stable ground.

Servitude pitfall #2: Superficial Sweetness and Gushiness

When someone claims to love everybody, especially when the person demonstrates this love in an excessively sweet and gushy manner, there is a question of Genuineness.  This is often a good indication that the person is using incongruent behavior that covers over - and is usually the exact opposite of - his or her true feelings.  So the person who feels reluctant, unwilling, or maybe even angry at the prospect of serving cloaks that feeling with an exaggerated and unnatural sweetness.

This defense mechanism is a denial of one's humanness and brokenness.  It can even be a form of self-righteousness.  The sweet and gushy trainer is out of touch with him or herself.  He or she refuses to fact the brokenness within, and often scorns the brokenness in others from some imagined height of spiritual maturity.

This situation is bondage.  Individuals caught in its tenacious grasp are so deceived that they cannot see that anything has gone wrong with themselves.  To be sure, people like this can be the first to grovel over the presence and power of sin in their lives.  Yet it is evident that the groveling is only a mask for an attitude of superior spirituality.

So long as the trainer is ensnared in this pitfall of superficial sweetness, no in-depth relating can take place.  The one seeking help is only interacting with  a mask.

The Servanthood Approach: Genuineness

The servanthood approach to others is not superficial sweetness and gushiness, but genuineness.  Genuineness stems from being in touch with yourself.  It is being who you are.

Being genuine does not mean being perfect, but entails a recognition of brokenness in yourself.  As you learn to recognize your commitment and trust and feel at home with it, you will be able to capitalize creatively on the imperfections in your life of training.  At these times God can be strong in your weakness.

Genuineness is disarmingly contagious.  As you, the trainer, learn to set aside the masks that society and your own imperfection continually thrust upon you, you will be an enabler and a model for others to do the same.  A genuine trainer's vulnerable openness at the point of his or her brokenness can indeed be an incentive for others to shed their masks and be themselves.

Genuine individuals are not liked by everyone.  Sometimes others find it hard to like a person who, by being genuine, shatters their illusions.  Perhaps the best example of this is Jesus.  When he acted genuine, it aroused anger and hatred sufficient to lead to his crucifixion.

Sometimes you may feel that you are being "crucified."  When you open up in a courageous act of training by being genuine, not all will be appreciative.  Some might resent your trust and commitment.  No matter.  Your training results from a deliberate decision to care in a given situation and to care through the pains and burdens that reveal your own brokenness.  Being a servant is not easy, but the reward of spreading genuineness to others is worth the price.

Servitude Pitfall #3: Being Manipulated

Perfectly sincere, caring Christians have shown by their actions that they consider being manipulated to be honorable and Christlike.  Being manipulated is a means of demonstrating their long-suffering endurance; it is part of the cross they are called on to bear.

Being manipulated is not Christian servanthood.  In 'The Manipulator and the Church' their is a definition of a manipulator as "one who exploits, uses, and/or controls himself and others as things or objects."  You are being manipulated when another person controls your behavior or plays on your emotions for selfish ends - treating you more as an object than a person.  When you are manipulated, the relationship ceases to be meaningful.  When you permit someone to treat you as an object, you block any genuine relating.  A one-sided "relationship" in which the manipulator has all his or her whims fulfilled is no relationship at all.

Allowing yourself to be manipulated demeans yourself.  When you let it happen, you are in effect saying, "Okay.  I am an object.  I am your slave."  Furthermore, when you permit manipulation, you allow the other person to demean his or her own self.  You give your approval to the diminution of the individual's personhood.  Far from following the apostolic injunction to "build one another up," you help the other person to tear himself or herself down.

The Servanthood Approach: Filling Needs, Not Wants

If you love people and seek to build them up, you must meet their needs, not their wants.

Being a true Christian servant involves not allowing yourself to be manipulated.  It entails giving people what they need, which is not necessarily what they want or state as a need.  To pander to their whims is usually a good way to insure that their true needs will not be met.  Certainly, you will keep their wants in mind.  Many times, what people want will help them along the road of healthy growth.  But to grant an individual's every whim is, to cultivate overly dependent, and unhealthy behavior.

I do not mean to imply that you are excused from being warm, caring, and gentle with people.  There must be time for nurturing in the training process.  But when the individual manipulates as a life pattern, you must not allow yourself to become another one of the person's toys.

Resisting this temptation will not be easy.  You will need to learn skills of relating with and serving others.  Sometimes you will need to be confrontive.  A direct, forthright approach is the only way I know to successfully combat manipulation.

Servitude Pitfall #4: Begrudging Care

Occasionally you can stumble into a relationship that you really did not want anything to do with.  Yet, because you feel obliged to train, you continue in the situation - while at the same time constantly complaining about the individual and the relationship.  If you find yourself in this predicament, you might seriously consider ending the situation, rather than continuing to participate grudgingly in it.

At times you will experience great inconvenience and pain relating to another person, without the slightest urge to complain.  Rather, you will find joy in bearing the burdens of another.  But there are times when just the thought of associating with a certain person will fill you with bitterness and dread.  In this case your resentment is probably blocking any effective relating and caring.  Consequently, you might wish to reassess your involvement.

The Servanthood Approach: Intentionality

The individual who acts out of the freedom of servanthood will consciously choose to enter and remain in relationships.  A deliberate decision to care lends power to your presence.  Intentionality stands in stark contrast to unwilling care that results from a warped sense of obligation.  

Even with intentionality, relationships will not always be sparkling and dynamic.  Some relationships are more stimulating and rewarding than others.  This could lead naturally to trainers seeking out the more exciting relationships and shunning the less exciting ones.  It is often easier to relate to attractive people than unattractive ones - especially when no deliberate decision was made in the first place.  But when such a decision is made, the strength of your commitment will carry you through some exceedingly dull times.

This glorious gift called freedom that God gives in servanthood rules out rule-giving.  Rather than requirements, what I offer are some guidelines.  Learn them for the value they have, but also rely on the promptings of the Holy Spirit who gives you the gifts you need as a Christian servant.  God does not give all gifts to all people.  It follows that you cannot expect to be able to serve every person who is in need.  Still, you need to use the gifts God has given you, recognizing both your strengths and your limitations.

You also need to beware of expecting others to have the same gifts you do.  Do not judge those who are not involved in Christian service in the same way as you.

By God's grace, you can continue to grow in your servanthood attitudes and capabilities.  A limitation today could become a strength tomorrow,  God isn't finished with you yet.  Accept your limitations; give the training you can.  Some gifts you might never have.

In a Thousand Reasons for Living, Don Helder Camara summarized the difference between servanthood and servitude.

Do people let you down?
Don't carry them on your shoulders
Take them in your heart.

Guilt

Guilt has been described as the place where religion and psychology most often meet.  Probably there is no other topic which is of equal interest to both theologians and professional counselors, and perhaps no other issue so consistently pervades all of the problem areas discussed in this course.  Talk with people who are depressed, lonely, struggling with marriage problems, alcoholic, grieving, dealing with middle age, or facing almost any other problem and you will find people who experience guilt as part of their difficulties.  One writer has even suggested that guilt in some way is involved in all psychological problems.

Guilt is so prevalent in our society that several types have been identified.  These can be divided into two categories: objective guilt and subjective guilt.  objective guilt exists apart from our feelings.  It occurs when a law has been broken and the lawbreaker is guilty even though he or she may not feel guilty.  Subjective guilt refers to the inner feelings of remorse and self-condemnation which comes because of our actions.

Objective guilt can be divided into four types.  First, there is legal guilt.  This refers to the violation of the laws of society.  The person who drives through a red light or steals from a department store is guilty before the law, whether or not the person is caught and regardless of whether the person feels any remorse.

Social guilt comes when we break an unwritten but socially expected rule.  If a person behaves rudely, gossips maliciously, criticizes unkindly or ignores a needy individual, no law has been broken and there may be no feelings of remorse.  Nevertheless, the guilty person has violated the social expectations of the other people in his or her society.

A third type of objective guilt is personal guilt.  Here the individual violates his or her own personal standards or resists the urgings of conscience.  If a father determines to spend each Sunday with the family, for example, he experiences guilt when business keeps him away from home over a weekend.  Since personal standards frequently parallel the standards of our neighbors, social and personal guilt often are similar.

Theological guilt, sometimes called true guilt, involves a violation of the laws of God.  The Bible describes divine standards for human behavior and when we violate these standards by our actions or thoughts, we are guilty before God whether or not we feel remorse.  The Bible calls this condition sin and since all of us are sinners, we are all guilty before God.

Most psychiatrists and psychologists do not admit the existence of theological guilt.  To do so would be to admit that there are absolute moral standards.  If there are absolute standards there must be a standard-setter; that is, a God.  For many, it is easier to believe that right and wrong are relative -dependent on one's own experiences, training and subjective values.  This, as we shall see, has great implications for training.

Most people feel uncomfortable when they break a civil law (legal guilt), act in contrast to social expectations (social guilt), violate a personal standard (personal guilt) and/or deliberately ignore God (theological guilt).  It is possible to do all of these, however, and never feel guilty.  The hardened criminal may murder and feel no sadness or remorse.  Millions of people, including professed Christians, forget God every day and thus sin against him.  These people are guilty before God but they do not feel guilt because of their actions.  This brings us to the second major category of guilt.

Subjective guilt is the uncomfortable feeling of regret, remorse, shame and self-condemnation which often comes when we have done or thought something which we feel is wrong, or failed to do something which should have been done.  Often there is discouragement, anxiety, fear of punishment and a sense of isolation, all tied together as part of the guilt feeling.  According to Narramore, these subjective feelings fall into three categories: a fear of punishment, a loss in self-esteem, and a feeling of loneliness, rejection or isolation.  Such guilt feelings are not always bad.  They can stimulate us to change our behavior and seek forgiveness from God and others.  But guilt feelings can also be destructive, inhibitory influences which make life miserable.

Subjective guilt feelings may be strong or weak, appropriate or inappropriate.  Appropriate guilt feelings arise when we have broken a law or violated the dictates of our conscience and feel remorse in proportion to the seriousness of our actions.  Inappropriate guilt feelings are out of proportion to the seriousness of the act.  Some people, for example, can steal and murder but feel very little guilt while others may be immobilized with guilt in response to some minor act or unkind thought.

All of this emphasizes that guilt is a big subject.  In training it is important to distinguish objective from subjective guilt, although most trainees will be concerned about the latter.  it also is important to understand the biblical teaching about guilt.

The Bible and Guilt

When modern people speak about guilt they usually are referring to subjective guilt geelings, but the Bible never uses guilt in this way.  The words which usually are translated "guilt" or "guilty" refer to the theological guilt which was described before.  A person is guilty, in tthe biblical sense, when he or she has broken God's law.  In the Bible, therefore, there is little difference between guilt and sin.

This has significant implications for Christian trainers.  The Bible does not talk about guilt feelings and in no place does it even imply that we should try to motivate people by making them feel guilty.  But this is exactly the approach used by many speakers and preachers who sincerely want to help people change.  Non-Christian counselors have been critical of such tactics, arguing with considerable validity that Christianity arouses unhealthy guilt feelings.

But how can we lead people to a place of repentance without creating considerable guilt feelings?  To answer we must understand the concepts of constructive sorrow and divine forgiveness.

Constructive sorrow is a term suggested by Bruce Narramore and based on 2 Corinthians 7:8-10.  In that passage, Paul contrasts "worldly sorrow," which seems equivalent to guilt feelings and "sorrow that is according to the will of God."  This latter sorrow is "constructive sorrow" because it leads to constructive change.

Narramour illustrates this by describing a situation in which two people are having coffee and one accidentally spills coffee in the other person's lap.  A typical guilt feeling reaction would be, "How stupid of me.  Look at the mess I've made.  I'm sorry."  The offender feels foolish and is self-critical.  Constructive sorrow is different.  The offender might say, "I'm sorry.  Here are some napkins to clean up," and later offer to pay the cleaning bill.  The former is self-condemning and nonbiblical; the later is scriptural and healthy.

Divine forgiveness is a major biblical theme, especially in the New Testament.  Jesus Christ came to die so that sinful human beings could be forgiven and restored to completee fellowship with God.

While some passages of Scripture mention forgiveness without discussing repentance, other passages imply that at least two conditions must be met before God forgives.  First we must repent.  "For Him to forgive without requiring repentance would be like condoning sin or being indifferent to it."  Secondly, we must be willing to forgive others.  Jesus mentions this at least three times in the Bible.  A man or woman, "must forgive others to be forgiven by God.  This requirement evidently rests on the genuineness of one's repentance.  A person who seeks forgiveness but does not forgive others hardly knows what he is asking for and is not worthy of it."

The emphasis on constructive sorrow and the promise of divine forgiveness have relevance for the trainer who seeks to help both those who have objective guilt and those who experience subjective guilt feelings.

The Causes of Guilt

Objective guilt comes because we have violated legal, social, personal, and/or theological laws and moral standards.  It is rare that anyone comes for training solely because of objective guilt.  Either the guilty person has been caught and thus fears punishment, or the person is experiencing subjective feelings of guilt.

Why do people feel guilty?  There can be several reasons.

1.  Past Learning and Unrealistic Personal Expectations.  Individual standards of what is right and wrong, or good and bad, usually develop in childhood.  For some parents the standards are so rigid and so high that the child almost never succeeds.  There is little if any praise or encouragement because the parents are never satisfied.  Instead the child is blamed, condemned, criticized and punished so frequently that he or she is made to feel like a constant failure.  As a result, there is self-blame, self-criticism, inferiority and persisting guilt feelings, all because the child has learned a set of standards, sometimes impossible to reach.  While parents most often express these standards, sometimes they come from churches which believe in the attainment of "sinless perfection."

As they grow older, children take over parental and theological standards.  They expect perfection in themselves, se up standards which never can be reached, and slide into feelings of guilt and self-blame following the inevitable failures.  Guilt feelings are one of the ways in which we both punish ourselves and push ourselves to keep trying to do better.  The "workaholic," for example, often is influenced by feelings of guilt.  Convinced that he or she is not producing enough or not "redeeming the time," the workaholic keeps working in ann attempt to accomplish more and to keep from feeling guilty.

The answer to the problems of unrealistic standards is the adoption of realistic standards.  God expects us to keep pressing on toward the goal of Christian maturity, but surely he whose Son came to give us abundant life does not want us always to wallow in  self-condemnation and guilt feelings.  Such an attitude has no biblical basis.  Love should motivate us, not guilt.

2.  Inferiority and Social Pressure.  It is difficult to determine whether a feeling of inferiority creates guilt feelings, or whether the guilt feelings produce inferiority.  In his widely influential book Guilt and Grace Paul Tournier titles the first chapter "Inferiority and Guilt."  He argues that there can be no clear line of demarcation between guilt and inferiority since "all inferiority is experienced as guilt.

But why do people feel inferior?  Clearly our self-concept is greatly influenced by the opinions and criticisms of others.

In everyday life we are continually soaked in this unhealthy atmosphere of mutual criticism, so much so that we are not always aware of it and we find ourselves drawn unwittingly into an implacable vicious circle: every reproach evokes a feeling of guilt in the critic as much as in the one criticized, and each one gains relief from his guilt in any way he can, by criticizing other people and in self-justification....  Social suggestion is then the source of innumerable feelings of guilt.

3.  Faulty Conscience Development.  "Let your conscience be your guide" is a popular ethical principle, but it fails to recognize that consciences differ greatly from person to person.  Although the word "conscience" does not occur in the Old Testament, it is used frequently in the writings of Paul, who notes that consciences are built on universal divinely given moral principles which are "written in" human hearts, and probably placed in us by God before we are able even to think about right or wrong.  But the conscience can be "seared" - dulled into insensitivity by persistent involvement in sin.  Consciences can be weak, and they can be strengthened.  Clearly, therefore, the conscience can be altered by the actions and teachings of others.

Beginning with Freud, psychologists and psychiatrists have maintained that the conscience is molded early in life by the prohibitions and expectations of parents.  The child learns how to act in ways which will bring praise and avoid punishment.

At this early stage in life, the child also learns about guilt.  When parents are good models of what they want to teach; when the home is warm, predictable and secure, and when there is more emphasis on approval and giving encouragement than on punishment and criticism - then the child knows what it means to experience forgiveness.  But when there are poor parental models, and/or moral training which is punitive, critical, fear-ridden or highly demanding, then the child becomes angry, rigid, critical and burdened by a continuing sense of guilt.

As children grow older there comes a shift away from the belief that something is right or wrong simply  "because my parents and church said so." and move toward a personal commitment to ideals which "I believe, in my own heart, to be right."  Such maturing, according to psychologist Lars Granberg.

is not a matter of ridding oneself of his childhood conscience, which usually contains much of real value.  Parental instruction instills the practical morality of the family and society along with moral principles and ideals.  Conscience maturity begins in earnest in adolescence and is furthered by a climate that encourages both (1) personal commitment to Christ and to His moral priorities and (2) reflection upon one's experience and motives so as to build a personal hierarchy of Christian values and goals.  Reflection is stimulated when one's moral habits or values are challenged by competing values, provided the person is not fear-ridden and merely avoids the issues through automatic response....  A mature Christian conscience is furthered by sound instruction in the Bible, an open and supportive climate of inquiry which encourages honest expression of opinion and thoughtful appraisal of experience, good adult models after whom to pattern oneself, and a grasp both of the reality of forgiveness and the proper fruit of repentance: getting up and going on without wallowing in self-recrimination.

This is an ideal which many people do not experience.  Trained to think rigidly about right and wrong, convinced of one's own imperfections and incompetence, fearful of failures or punishment, and lacking in the awareness of God's complete forgiveness, these people are constantly plagued  with guilt feelings.  These guilt feelings come not because of sorrow for sin or regret over law-breaking.  They are signs that the person is preoccupied with a fear of punishment, isolation, or lowered self-esteem.  To bolster oneself, such people often are rigid, critical of others, unforgiving, afraid of making moral decisions, domineering, and inclined to assert an attitude of moral superiority.  They are difficult people to have in the church, but often they are angry, unhappy people who need help and understanding more than criticism.

4.  Supernatural Influences.  Prior to the Fall it appears that Adam and Eve had no conscience, no knowledge of good or evil, and no sense of guilt.  Immediately after their disobedience, however, they realized that they had done wrong and tried to hide from God.  Objective theological guilt and subjective guilt feelings had entered God's creation.

As the rest of the Bible shows, God's standards are high and people fool themselves if they pretend to be without sin.  An awareness of guilt, therefore, can come from the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  Such an awareness is for our own cleansing and growth.

Might it be that Satan also creates guilt feelings?  The Bible states that he accuses God's followers, at least before God, and we know that he tempts us, and tries to make us stumble.  Adam and Eve would not have known guilt if Satan had left them alone, and it is surely probable that he stimulates believers to feel guilty and unforgiven, even when we have done nothing wrong.

The Effects of Guilt

Objective guilt can have a variety of consequences.  As stated previously, breaking the law can create subjective guilt feelings but this does not always happen.  Evil disobedience can lead to arrest and conviction, but when the offender is not caught, he or she is still guilty even though there never is a trial.  Social guilt may bring criticism from other people but little else.  Theological guilt, however, is not so easily dismissed.  God, who is just and holy, does not wink at sin or miss seeing acts of disobedience.  The ultimate punishment for sin is death - although God pardons and gives eternal life to those who put their faith in Jesus Christ, who died to pay for our sins.  Sometimes it appears that lawbreakers will avoid punishment, but God will bring justice in the end.

Most trainers see the effects not of objective guilt, but of subjective guilt feelings.  These influence people in several ways.

1. Defensive Reactions.  General psychology books often describe "defense mechanisms."  These are ways of thinking which most people use to avoid anxiety, and it may be that, to some extent, all defense mechanisms protect us from feelings of guilt.  If we blame others (projection), for example, or withdraw, we can avoid facing our own responsibility for guilt-arousing thoughts or actions.  Sometimes when guilt feelings begin to arise, we get angry at others, try to justify our behavior, deny our responsibility, or even apologize profusely.

2. Self-condemnation Reactions.  Guilt feelings almost always stimulate self-condemnation in the forms of anxiety; feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, weakness, low esteem, pessimism and insecurity.  Sometimes there is self-punishment: the person acts like a martyr pushed around by others.  Sometimes there is a "poor-little-me-I-don't-deserve-to-be-treated-well" attitude.  For others there is an inability to relax, a refusal to accept compliments, a sexual inhibition, an unwillingness to say "no" to the demands of others, or an avoidance of leisure activities - all because the person feels guilty and unable to accept forgiveness.  Often there is anger which is held  within and unexpressed.  This can lead the person into depression, sometimes with thoughts of suicide.  Even accident-proneness can accompany guilt feelings.  Some believe that this is an unconscious attempt at self-punishment.

3. Social Reactions.  All of these self-condemning thoughts and actions alienate the guilt-plagued person from others.  None of us enjoys being with people who wallow in self-condemnation.  For a while we try to argue and prove that the self-critical person is not as bad as stated.  When our arguments fall on deaf ears, however, we tend to give up.  This moves the guilt-bothered person into loneliness and alienation from people, and this in turn stimulates a tendency to criticize the actions of others.

4. Physical Reactions.  Whenever tension builds in a person and is not released, the body weakens and eventually breaks down.  Some psychiatrists view this as a form of self-punishment.  Psychologically and emotionally it is easier to tolerate physical pain than the burden of guilt that would otherwise attract our attention.

5. Repentance and Forgiveness.  The effects of guilt feelings are not all negative.  Some people have learned to accept mistakes, to grow from them, to confess to God and others, and to rest content in the assurance that "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Training and Guilt

In dealing with guilt the Christian lifestyle trainer has an advantage over the nonbeliever.  Guilt is a moral issue and guilt feelings arise from moral failures.  Few secular counselor training programs discuss morals and the counselor who does not believe in God must somehow deal with values, forgiveness, atonement and related theological issues about which there is little understanding and no formal training.  Psychological approaches have centered around helping people express anger, make restitution, lower their standards or expectations, improve their performance and get insight into their behavior.  Regretfully these are stopgap efforts at best, and it is probable that they rarely bring permanent change.

Several years ago, a highly respected psychologist wrote a controversial book which argued that "man sickens in mind, soul, and perhaps even body because of unconfessed and unatoned real guilt."  Mental illness, this author proposed, is really moral illness that can only be cured by confession to significant other people and by the making of restitution.  The writer, O. Hobart Mowrer, did not claim to be a Christian and his book attacked some basic Christian doctrines (such as the substitutionary atonement and the concept of original sin) but he challenged counselors and pastors alike to acknowledge the central place of sin and forgiveness in counseling.  A decade later, psychiatrists Karl Menninger expressed similar ideas in a book with the intriguing title, Whatever Became of Sin?

Regretfully, these books were written from a humanistic perspective, and although they used theological language they failed to acknowledge the biblical truths about confession, forgiveness and justification.  These concepts must be in the thinking of every Christian lifestyle trainer who attempts to help those with guilt feelings.

1.  Understanding and Acceptance.  People with guilt feelings often condemn themselves and expect to be condemned by others.  As a result they sometimes come to training with either a self-defensive or a self-blaming attitude.

The attitude of Jesus must haave surprised the woman who hadd been caught in the act of adultery.  She was objectively guilty and perhaps feeling guilty, but Jesus was not like the others who wanted to condemn her.  He did not condone her sin - it clearly was wrong - but he talked kindly to her and told her to sin no more.

One of the most important things to remember in reducing guilt is never to minimize or criticize the feeling.

Guilt feelings hurt, and the trainer should show a willingness to understand without condemning or expecting that the feelings can be stopped at will.

2.  Insight.  People often can be helped if they have some understanding of the forces which are influencing them within.  You might discuss issues such as those involved with the trainee's life, trying to find specific examples for each conclusion.

• What were parental expectations of right and wrong?

• Were standards so high that you could never succeed?

• What happened when there was failure?

• What is the trainee's experience with forgiveness?

• Were blame, criticism and punishment frequent?

• What did the church teach about right and wrong?

• Was there biblical basis for these teachings?

• Was the trainee made to feel guilty?

• What makes the trainee feel guilty today?  Be specific.

• Does the trainee show any of the defensive reactions, self-condemnation, social reactions, or physical reactions described above?

The purpose of such discussion is to help the trainee recognize how his or her guilt feelings arose from past moral training.  It often will be true that the trainee has the fear of punishment, low self-esteem and feelings of rejection mentioned earlier.  He or she may be striving to act in ways or accomplish goals which are impossible.  At times you may wish to ask, "Who says you have to accomplish the goals or meet the standards you have set for yourself?  What will happen if you don't reach these goals?  Is there evidence in the Bible that God will not forgive?"  It is here that insight merges into spiritual teaching.

3.  Education.  This has been called "re-educating the conscience" - a process which may take a long time.  First, the trainee must be helped to reexamine his or her standards of right or wrong.  often people feel guilty about things the Bible doesn't say are sin.  Second, trainees must learn to ask, "What does God REALLY expect of me?"  He knows us perfectly.  He knows that we are merely dust and he recognizes that we will sin so long as we are on earth.  He expects not perfection, but a sincere attempt to do God's will as we understand it and as best as we can.  God is not so much interested in what we are doing, but in who we are and what we are becoming.  He who is compassionate, also loves unconditionally and will forgive our sins without demanding atonement and penance.  Atonement and penance are no longer necessary because Christ has already paid for human sins "once for all, the just for the unjust, in order that He might bring us to God."

This is basic theology which is so relevant and practical that it can revolutionize and completely free human thinking.  The ultimate solution to guilt and guilt feelings is to honestly admit guilt, confess sin to Christ and at times to others, and then to believe with divine help that we are forgiven and accepted by the God of the universe.  It is he who in turn helps us to accept, love and forgive both ourselves and others.

4.  Repentance and Forgiveness.  It is possible to understand biblical teachings but to never act on the knowledge.  It is not the trainer's task to force people to pray, to confess, and to ask God to forgive.  For some trainees it may take awhile to reach that point and the trainer must be content to pray privately for the trainee and continue to work at accepting and helping the guilt-ridden person to understand these principles more clearly.  The view that we earn divine favor by good works and that we pay for our sins by undergoing punishment is so widespread that it dies slowly.  But the Bible teaches that repentance and confession are all we need to obtain forgiveness.  Failure to understand this basic tenet of Christianity has caused countless people, including Christians, to experience unhealthy guilt feelings which lead to worry, depression, loss of inner peace, fear, low self-esteem, loneliness, and a sense of alienation from God.

Preventing Guilt

For many years counselors have emphasized and perhaps overemphasized the importance of early experience on later behavior.  In this lesson we have seen how early moral teaching and parental expectations can have profound influence on the child's later thinking about right and wrong.  The place to start the prevention of unhealthy guilt feelings, therefore, is with parents.

In the church we can teach the biblical doctrine of forgiveness.  Help Christians to realize that God understands our weaknesses, that he forgives freely and lovingly helps us to grow and mature as we walk through life.  Show the difference between guilt feelings and constructive sorrow.  Then encourage people to examine their own self-expectations and standards of right and wrong.  Are these unrealistic and unbiblical?  Remember that two good ways to learn about forgiveness are to practice it and to experience it.  If church people can seek God's help in forgiving one another there can be a reduction in bitterness and in the refusal to understand or accept forgiveness from God.

Next, teach parents that children learn not only what we teach; they also learn from the climate in which the teaching occurs.  If we are rigid, condemning, demanding and unforgiving, the children feel like constant failures.  This does much to instill prolonged guilt feelings.  Parents can prevent unhealthy guilt feelings and encourage conscience development in their children, if the parents have some understanding of conscience development as outlined in this lesson.  Teach them to instill in their children a commitment to Scripture, and stress discipline which points out failure but also includes abundant love, encouragement and forgiveness.

Teaching the doctrine of forgiveness and teaching the principles of conscience development - these are two ways to prevent unhealthy guilt feelings.  Since guilt feelings are tied so intimately with self-esteem.

Finally, there is the issue of obedience.  When we attempt to obey the law, meet social expectations, and do what God wants, we are less likely to experience objective guilt.  This in turn prevents the development of many subjective guilt feelings.

In all of this it must be remembered that guilt feelings in themselves are not all bad.  Sometimes they stimulate us to confess sin and to act more effectively.  When they persist as paralyzing influences, however, they are harmful.  It is such harmful guilt feelings that we seek to prevent and eliminate.

Conclusions about Guilt

When Jesus talked to the woman caught in adultery he never relaxed his standards.  God's standards are perfect and he never settles for imperfection.  The woman was told to sin no more and hopefully her life style changed radically.

But she surely never reached perfection.  none of us do.  Nevertheless we are accepted completely by God, forgiven unconditionally, and assured that someday we will reach divine standards because of the work of Christ.

Throughout the lessons of this course the biblical teachings on human problems are discussed.  Perhaps in no lesson, however, is Christian theology more relevant.  Because God forgives, we are forgiven, our guilt is removed, and a way is provided to deal with guilt feelings.

Quality of Life

The Leader's Decision Making

Decision Making is a fundamental responsibility of leaders.  People who are unwilling or unable to make decisions are unlikely leadership candidates.  Leaders may consult counselors; they may seek consensus from their people; they may gather further information; but ultimately they must make choices.  Leaders who refuse to do are abdicating their leadership role.  people need the assurance that their leader is capable of making wise, timely decisions.  The fear of making a wrong decision is the overriding impetus behind some people's leadership style.  Such people become immobilized by their fear of making a mistake.  It is true that all decisions have ramifications, and leaders must be prepared to accept the consequences of their decisions.  Those without the fortitude to live with this reality should not take on leadership roles.

In direct contrast to irresolute leaders are those who make decisions too casually.  These leaders come to conclusions flippantly without giving serious consideration to the possible outcomes of their decisions.  When a decision proves disastrous, the leader does an about-face, adding a second, equally reckless course of action to the first one.  Such foolhardy decisions, made in rapid succession, are often contradictory, creating confused organizations with bewildered employees scrambling helter-skelter, never quite sure which direction the organization is going next.  Decision making is the cornerstone of an organization's effectiveness.  Decisions must be reached carefully because, as Peter Drucker observes, "Every decision is like surgery.  it is an intervention into a system and therefore carries with it the risk of shock."

When Leaders Make a Decision

A single leadership decision has the potential to significantly impact the organization, so it is critical that leaders base their decisions firmly on biblical principles that will protect them from mistakes.  There are several principles Christian leaders should follow when making decisions.

Leaders Make Decisions by Seeking the Holy Spirit's Guidance.

Christian leaders make two choices every time they make one decision.  Firt they choose whether to rely on their own insights or on God's wisdom in making their decision.  Their second choice is the conclusion they reach, or the action they take.  People don't naturally do things God's way, because people don't think the way God does (Ps. 118:8).

The world's way of decision making is to weigh all the evidence, compare pros and cons, and then take the course of action that seems most sensible.  If Christian leaders make their choices this way, they could easily lead their organization in the opposite direction of God's will (Prov. 14;12).  God doesn't want people to do what they think is best: he wants them to do what he knows is best, and no amount of reasoning and intellectualizing will discover that.  God himself must reveal it.  God's Holy Spirit reveals his will to those who are seeking his mind and his heart.  God's Spirit will do this through four avenues: prayer, Scripture, other believers, and circumstances. 

The Holy Spirit Guides Through Prayer.  Prayer is the leader's connection with the one who promised: "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know" (Jer. 33:3).  prayer should always be a leader's first course of action.  Christian leaders must spend time in prayer daily, asking God to guide them in each decision they will make, not just when they are facing a situation but also before the fact.

Prayerless leaders are like ship captains without compasses - they can make their best guess at which direction to go, but they have no assurance they are heading the right way.  Prayer keeps leaders focused on the one absolutely consistent factor in their lives - God.  One of the grave realizations of many fallen leaders is that they neglected their relationship with God.  Leaders are busy, and many say there just are not enough hours in the day to maintain a vibrant prayer life.

There have been leaders who entered difficult situations after neglecting their spiritual life.  They eventually turned to God, and he restored them to fellowship with himself - but not before they, their families, and their organizations suffered grievously.  How much better it would have been for them if they had nurtured their relationship with the Lord and avoided calamity in the first place.  just as good leaders know to keep their organizations prepared for whatever contingency the future might bring, so leaders ought to zealously maintain a close relationship with God today so they are prepared to make the necessary decisions of tomorrow.

The Holy Spirit Guides Through God's Word.  God's Word is the plumb line for Christian living.  When people give leaders advice, leaders compare their counsel with God's Word.  When leaders sense God is saying something to them in prayer, they confirm it with what he says in his Word.  The problem for many leaders is that they are unfamiliar with the Bible.  They don't know what it says, so it doesn't guide them.  They don't read it regularly, so it doesn't influence their thinking.  When a crucial decision is required, leaders have no alternative but to do what makes sense to them and hope it does not  violate the teachings of Scripture.

True spiritual leaders recognize their utter dependence on God.  So they regularly fill their heart and mind with his Word.  When leaders' minds are filled with Scripture, they find themselves thinking according to biblical principles.  When a difficult situation arises, the Holy Spirit will bring appropriate Scriptures to mind.  When they prepare to make a decision, the Holy Spirit will bring to memory a Scripture verse that provides relevant guidance.

The Holy Spirit Guides Through Other Believers.  One of these safegrards is enlisting the aid of wise counsel.  The confirmation of other believers is a third way the Holy Spirit will guide leaders' decision making.  The essence of these Scriptures can be summed up in two truths: (1) leaders should recruit a variety of godly counselors; and (2) leaders should give their advisors the freedom to express their opinions.

Good leaders choose their counselors carefully.  The Scriptures advise people to seek the guidance of several counselors, thus avoiding the disastrous trap of merely duplicating the mistakes of one person.  Because people have expertise in different areas, leaders need counselors who represent many areas of concern.

The key to effective counselors is not that they agree with their leaders and always support their decisions but that they tell their leaders things they would not know or recognize otherwise.  These people must know how to think for themselves.  They must be well qualified with expertise the leader lacks.  They should have a consistently successful track record of demonstrating wisdom when working with others.  They ought to be able to look at situations from a perspective different from the leader's. 

Good leaders ensure they have varied perspectives available to them before they make important decisions.  The one common qualification of counselors should be a close walk with God.  Advisors should demonstrate competence as well as a mature faith.  Christian leaders need counselors who walk closely with God and who take their counsel from him.  Having a mind and character that are being molded by the Holy Spirit gives godly counselors a great advantage over those who do not have God as a frame of reference for their decision making.

Some leaders have suffered monumental disaster, not because there was no one to warn them, but because they would listen only to counselors who told them what they wanted to hear.  often at the root of this problem is an insecure person who cannot bear dissent.  Once leaders have carefully chosen wise counselors and received advice that is borne out by the Scriptures, they would be foolish to ignore such counsel.

The Holy Spirit Guides Through Circumstances.  Wise leaders watch for God's activity in the midst of their experiences.  just as God speaks by his Holy Spirit through prayer, the Bible, and other believers, so God can send clear messages to leaders through their experiences.  Christian leaders astutely evaluate "coincidences" to see if these are God's answers to their prayers.  Christian leaders are not discouraged by their circumstances - they are informed by them.  Through circumstances and events in leaders' lives, God leads them forward in his will.

Leaders Strive to Be Teachable

The Holy Spirit will reveal God's plan to leaders who seek his guidance, but it is then up to the leader to respond appropriately to the guidance God gives.  A major aspect of a leader's wise decision making is having a teachable spirit.  Leaders who truly want feedback will give ample opportunity for it.  Listening leaders are constantly learning and growing.  The apostle James sagely cautions everyone to be "quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger" (James 1:19).  Effective leaders make a concerted effort to invite discussion and constructive feedback from associates.  Wise leaders recognize the value of gathering ideas from their people, and so they create a climate in their organizations where people feel to contribute.

Leaders Master Their History

One of the first things new leaders should do, preferably even before arriving on the field, is to study the history of the organization.  Biblical leaders functioned with a keen awareness of what God had done before they arrived on the scene.  God always builds on what he has done before.  Biblical leaders understood this, but modern leaders often do not.

God does not work in a vacuum.  he has been unfolding his plan since he began time,  Much history has preceded the leader's arrival at the organization.  Leaders are remiss if they make decisions as if there were no track record or history to their organization.  Christian leaders should recognize with an even greater sense of accountability that their lives have a purpose for the particular time that God has led them to their organizations; and that purpose is a part of his greater plan.

As soon as possible the new leader should seek out evidence of God's previous activity in the church or institution to which the leader has been called.  God has been leading the church thus far.  For several reasons pastors often feel they must come into new situations and make immediate, sweeping changes.  This is especially  true when a pastor is called to a declining church and wants to give the impression of renewed vibrancy.  Sometimes a new pastor seeks to develop an approach to ministry different from his predecessor's, just to be different.  These pastors arrive with a comprehensive set of plans and directions for the church, without ever considering how their plan integrates with all God has done in the church already.  This is not to say that God will not lead the congregation to make significant modifications under the new leadership.  In fact, God may have brought in the new leader specifically to effect change.  The church leader, however, should be careful that any innovations are on God's plan and that they are done for the right reason.

Leaders must diligently guard their hearts from pride-driven insecurity that motivates them to cancel good initiatives of previous leaders.  God is purposeful and progressive in the way he leads people and organizations.  he does not change his mind every time a new leader arrives.  God does not rescind everything he has said once a new leader is installed.  Leaders come and go over the years but God's plans, purposes, and presence remain constant.  Wise leaders understand their place in God's overall plan and are content to lead on God's plan, setting aside any selfish or ungodly motives that may tempt them to "show what they can do."

By reviewing God's activity, people can see patterns and gain a sense of the overall direction in which God has been guiding them.  This helps them to know if a new decision is consistent with God's guidance in the past.  Leaders have a greater assurance of making the right decision when they understand how God has led in the past.  If a decision seems completely out of character with everything God has said to the organization thus far, then leaders are wise to cautiously reconsider the decision.

Leaders Give an Account to God.

Christian leaders are visible to the probing eyes of the media.  In fact, the press takes particular delight in exposing the failures of Christians.  But Christian leaders must not shus public accountability.  In fact, they should welcome it as a safeguard against the temptation to abuse their power and influence.  They lead with integrity not only because they are accountable to public opinion or the judicial system, but more importantly because they know that God is observing and assessing their thoughts and actions all the time and because one day they will give an account to almighty God for everything they have done (Job 7:17-18).

It is this sobering realization, far more than the fear of public exposure, that compels true Christian leaders to act with integrity toward their peers, their staff, their families, and the public. Christian leaders make every decision with the awareness that one day they will give an account to God.  Christian leaders will be held accountable for what they could have done if only they had obeyed what God was directing them to do (James 4:17).

After leaders Make a Decision

As important as decision making is for leaders, making the decision is only half of the process.  Living with the decision is the other half.  Leaders who make decisions must truly decide.  The following are three guidelines for handling decisions once they have been made.

Leaders Accept the Consequences

Decision making would be much easier if there were no consequences, but the reality is that every decision carries inevitable results.  A good and timely decision can solidify a leader's reputation as a success.  A bad decision can overshadow many years of hard work, especially when left uncorrected.  It is the potentially devastating or career-making effect of choices that makes decisions a central part of the leadership role.

When there are negative consequences to leaders' decisions, they refuse to blame their followers.  True leaders accept the ramifications of their decisions.

Leaders Admit Their Mistakes

Because leaders make so many decisions, they are particularly vulnerable to making mistakes.  Moreover, the results of their actions are often magnified because of the public nature of their jobs.  Most mistakes are not terminal in nature, however, and they can actually provide the greatest moments of personal growth that leaders experience.  Mistakes expose leaders' inadequacies.  Successful leaders are not successful because they never err in judgment, but because they continually learn from their mistakes.  mistakes made once become catalysts for personal growth and future success.  The same mistakes, made repeatedly, are inexcusable.

people who are unable to admit their errors are not qualified to be leaders.  Mistakes are inevitable; true leaders understand this fact and are not devastated by it.  The only leaders who never make mistakes are those who never try anything, which is in itself a mistake.  Mistakes are often opportunities in disguise.  They are opportunities for followers to see that, though their leader is not perfect, he or she is honest.  Honesty, not infallibility, has repeatedly been listed as the most important quality followers desire in their leaders.  Failures are part of God's highway to personal growth.  When Christian leaders make a mistake, they need to begin by confessing it to God, receiving his forgiveness, and then moving  forward in faith.  Mistakes are not to be dreaded with paralyzing fear; they should be seen as learning tools to be thoroughly analyzed so leaders are better prepared for similar situations in the future.  Moreover, admitting a mistake to followers is an opportunity for leaders to demonstrate how mistakes will be dealt with in their organization.  If leaders readily admit their own errors, learn from them, and perform their job more effectively as a result, then followers will know that they, too, can make mistakes without being criticized.  Mistakes do not make people failures.  Failure is an event, not a character trait.  Covering up a mistake or refusing to accept responsibility for failure is a character issue - making a mistake is not.

Leaders Stand by Their Decisions

If leaders are meticulous in making their decisions, they will not waver once they have made them.  This confident ability to stand firmly behind a decision does not make a leader an unyielding tyrant.  Obviously if circumstances alter significantly, or if leaders discover new information that shows their present approach is in error, they must adjust  their decision, but these scenarios are usually the exception.  More often, leaders who continually change their minds do so because they have no clear sense of direction or because their interest has shifted to a new venture.  Such vacillations greatly damage their organizations' morale.  The best insurance against inconsistency is, of course, to be careful in making the right decision in the first place.  Scripture provides the unmistakable pattern of God speaking to his people and guiding them in their decisions.

Indecisiveness on the part of leaders may reflect that they are overly concerned with pleasing people.  people-pleasing is not the driving force of Quality of Life.  Christian leaders move people with them in their decisions but ultimately leeaders are concerned with pleasing God, not people.  There will sometimes be those whose spiritual maturity is not at a level to respond to all God is saying to the organization.  While leaders needd to help these people understand how to respond to God's directives, they should never be allowed to set the pace for the organization.  Good leaders do not abandon their weaker members, but neither do they allow them to set the agenda for the organization. 

A clear sense of direction for the organization will prevent leaders from chasing after every fad that comes along.  When leaders understand God's plans and purposes for their organizations, decision making becomes more straightforward.  When a new opportunity arises, leaders becomes more straightforward.  When a new opportunity arises, leaders ask, "Will this opportunity take us closer to where God is leading or will this hinder us?"  Leaders who are constantly waffling reveal that they do not know where they are going.

It takes courage to stand behind a decision in the face of resistance or opposition.  Some leaders simply lack the fortitude to take a stand or to make unpopular decisions.  Such leaders often delay, hoping a difficult issue will go away.  Unfortunately, it is usually the opportunities and rarely the difficulties that vanish over time.  Christian leaders need not lack courage because God has promised to give it to them if they will ask for it (Isa. 41:10).

Once again, we find ourselves back to the core principle of Quality of Life; trusting God.  Leaders who know what God has said and who have a clear sense of God's purpose for their organization can have the resolve to be steadfast in their leadership, regardless of whether everyone agrees with them.  As long as God agrees, they should proceed.

There comes a time when leaders must decide to decide.  To delay further would be an abdication of leadership.  Essential leadership skills include the ability to make a decision, to stick to it, to admit mistakes along the way, and finally to accept the consequences for the decision.

Improving Decision Making

Leaders who realize they are struggling in their decision making can take specific actions to address this problem.  Whether the issue is that they regularly make the wrong decisions or whether they are indecisive, leaders cannot afford to neglect this problem.  Here are several steps they can take to strengthen their decision-making skills.

Leaders Evaluate the Decisions They Are Making

Leaders need to monitor the quantity of decisions they are making.  One reason they may struggle is that they are bombarded by too many decisions to make.  If this is the case, leaders who are deluged with decisions are taking responsibility for things that they should be delegating to someone else.  if responsibility has been assigned to someone to make certain decisions, wise leaders will not unduly concern themselves with those issues.  Effective leaders continually give away routine work to others and use their time to concentrate on the critical issues that leaders cannot delegate.  leaders should restrict themselves to making only the most important decisions for their organization.

Leaders Cultivate Their Relationship with God

When Christian leaders struggle to make decisions, they need to immediately examine their relationship with God.  God wants to guide them.  God is perfectly capable of communicating with them.  if leaders are not hearing from God, they need to discover the reason.  If leaders are not  hearing from God, they need to discover the reason.  Do they really know how to recognize God's voice?  Once of the most difficult things for pastors and other Christian leaders to admit is that they struggle to know when God is speaking.  Instead, many of these people simply take the direction that makes the most sense to them and then pray for God to stop them if they are making a mistake.  The most important thing leaders can do in such situations is to get alone with God in an unhurried, uninterrupted time until they clearly know that God has spoken and what he wants them to do.  Waiting on God is not a passive activity.  It is one of the most strenuous, agonizing, faith-stretching times in a leader's life.  Taking adequate time to spend with God at the front end of a decision can save leaders years of painful regret after a decision has been made (Ps. 19:13).

Leaders Seek God's Vision

leaders who have trouble making decisions may be struggling because they have no clear picture of where they are leading their organization.  Every decision is a step toward a destination, so it is inevitable that leaders who do not know where they are going will falter in their decisions.  A leader who is unable to identify the organization's purpose needs to stop and seek God's direction.

When leaders have received God's vision for the future, they will have a clear sense of direction from which to make decisions.  Then options will eliminate themselves because they are obviously contrary to, or a deviation from, the organization's God-given purpose.

leaders Seek God's Wisdom

God continues to provide the wisdom necessary to make the right choices.  God continues to encourage leaders to seek his wisdom (james 1:5).  When leaders seek God's wisdom, he gives it to them.

Decision making does not have to be an ominous task.  Cod has provided everything necessary for people to make good choices.  With so much at stake in leaders' decisions, it is imperative that leaders make use of every resource God offers them so they can wisely and effectively lead their organizations, and most important, lead people on to God's plan.

Messages from God

• Proverbs 16:6

• 2 Corinthians 5:9-22

• Joshua 1:6-9

• 2 Chronicles 2;14

• Isaiah 11:2-3

Student Prayer

Thank you for being with me, Almighty God, I need you here in my life.  Uphold me and guide me, shine your light before me.  Grant me your peace.  Amen.

Homework

Discussion Questions

1. How can a Christian be "free" and dutiful" at the same time?

2. What clues can we look for in ourselves to determine whether we are acting out of servanthood or servitude in a given situation?

3. How do we obtain the freedom to "go the extra mile" - to be willing to give ourselves to others as much as we are able?

4. A primary reason Christians be come entangled in the web of servitude is the fear of not pleasing God enough.  Have you ever experienced this fear/  What other problems might this fear cause in a person's life?  What is God's answer to this fear?

5. Have you ever found yourself in a trap of servitude in your relating with others?  Which of the four "pitfalls" covered is most difficult for you to avoid?  What steps might you take in your next caring experience to avoid that pitfall and respond as a "servant?"

6. How do you distinguish between a trainee's needs and his or her wants?

7. "Begrudging Care" Time: 15 minutes. Think back to the last time you undertook a task begrudgingly.  You might have been manipulated into it, or you should or had to do it.  Share the experience.  Tell what happened, but particularly relate how you felt about the task, and how you performed it.

8. Share a time when you  have been manipulated.  Take two to three minutes for this.

9. Now share how this manipulation was dealth with or, if it was not dealt with, what the results of leaving the manipulation unconfronted were.  Take five minutes for this.